I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
