as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
