oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
