Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize