"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
