I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
