he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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