I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
