I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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