Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
