i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Houston, we have a blender
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
