He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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