So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
