David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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