Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
