Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
