get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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