ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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