People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
