Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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