WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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