I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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