Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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