It's like God shit irony all over that family
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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