i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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