If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
