I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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