do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
