Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
