thus making me awesome and them whores
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
