I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
