i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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