What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
