nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
