is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
