your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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