After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
