You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
