I CAN MOONWALK!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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