wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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