My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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