i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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