chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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