all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
