i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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