I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize