You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
