i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
