Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
