Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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