dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
