I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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