yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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