am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
