I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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