Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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