i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
