I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She bit a glass in half.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
