one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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