So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
