Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize