I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
