My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize