If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
