Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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